tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-132732632024-02-21T09:26:42.835-06:00Entropic FlipBeliefs and EpiphaniesKain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-59531982708354051072021-08-11T08:20:00.007-05:002022-01-19T21:39:23.357-06:0046<p>I'm 46 today... I think. Stopped counting after 40, really. But being born in 1975 makes the math easy to figure out if I need to.</p><p>It's been hard to write anything here. Mainly because a switch has flipped in my head. That switch is the "somebody on the internet will read this" switch. Used to be on, but now it's off.</p><p>I deleted my Facebook account, my Twitter account is pretty much an anon signal booster for local politicians, and I have no Instagram or whatever it is kids do, these days. My world is inside my house. I don't reach out to friends and have no way to make new friends because almost all of my energy goes towards..</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Helping my children develop into humans who won't be secretly broken, like me</li><li>Not getting divorced</li><li>Finding reasons to live and staying alive long enough to fulfill goal #1</li></ol><p></p><p>Unlike the days of my previous entries, I now firmly believe in the following:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Nobody cares what your thoughts about a thing are... Nobody reads your Twitter or Facebook</li><li>Nobody cares about that thing you are working on... Nobody reads your LinkedIn unless they need a job</li><li>Nobody cares what you can do... or where you have been... or how hard that thing you did was</li></ul><div>The universe is big. I am nobody, and that's okay.</div><div><br /></div><div>My job as a nobody is to care about other people that need to believe that somebody cares about them. I'll be that somebody...</div><div>...For my kids</div><div>...For my wife</div><div>...For the people I work with</div><div>...For the handful of friends I have left at this point in my life</div><div>...For the non-evil politicians within my votingsphere (for my kids)</div><div><br /></div><div>Releasing my ego has been... liberating.</div><p></p>Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-13838480708606900592021-01-05T05:19:00.022-06:002021-01-14T19:45:18.990-06:00Parenthood<div style="text-align: left;">
My parenting style might best be described as injecting an echo of myself into someone's memories:</div>
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I understand my place as a supporting character in my children's memories of growing up. The world has a set of rules and signals that will live a life of its own within them. The best I can do is to incept my own interpretations of these rules and signals within layers of their psyche as they develop into beings more capable than me.</div>
<br />
I have two, now. the first is a high functioning autistic with ADHD.... a diagnosis I suspect to be hereditary. He began reading at the age of 3, has proven to excel academically by age 6, and like me... every thought and feeling he has defaults to an uncontrollable110%. He has no idea how much of myself I see in him growing up. He mustn't. My job as his parent is to help him develop his own instruction manual for his brain in order to develop the mental tools needed to avoid the mistakes I made growing up.<br />
<br />
The second was just born a little over a year ago. She will be the last. We've learned a lot about staying married and self care and child psychology and all of those expectations and boundaries associated within those arenas. I realize that I should write down what I've learned about parenting in the last 6 years before that mindspace gets purged.<div><div><br /></div><div>If there is any single piece of advice I might bestow upon my past self, it is this: <b>There is no replacement for your physical time and mental presence</b>. Work and efforts to bring in income are not a replacement for changing diapers and playing with your child. Money that buys objects and supplies are not a replacement. It's an emotional thing, and emotions are where real decisions come from. If you delegate that time to other family members (i.e. a grandmother), then they will feel the moral authority to make decisions about your child proportional to the amount of time they have invested. If you care, then put the time into owning your parenthood. Do not let other family members place their gender expectations upon you as an clueless male because that's what your father was. Yes, you start out as a level zero parent, and you will make mistakes. All new parents will make mistakes, and that needs to be okay in order for your marriage to survive.</div><div>
<br />
Other pieces of random words to my past self:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>A baby-log channel on Slack (or any phone app that supports channels) is an excellent way to allow seamless baby duty handoffs between mom and dad by tracking last feedings and daiper changes<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCJeGAl1fBHPndSlw2kQOlhgNc09YH_Ej03jFcm9EvJ35wl5dY9SZGlCaMBur8CjtTRvWk19M_n3I07uca97LL_cLKs6roaD_8guprvZuuSWjREyZPpxAR_uG1QdZwc2qQl0WJ/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="824" data-original-width="507" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCJeGAl1fBHPndSlw2kQOlhgNc09YH_Ej03jFcm9EvJ35wl5dY9SZGlCaMBur8CjtTRvWk19M_n3I07uca97LL_cLKs6roaD_8guprvZuuSWjREyZPpxAR_uG1QdZwc2qQl0WJ/" width="148" /></a></div></div></li>
<li>Guest bed is a valid sleep resource. Sleeping together is nice, but taking turns sleeping is nicer.</li><li>Mattress on the floor, eventually.</li>
<li>Carpeted stairs + crawling backwards = good</li><li>Stakes are high, and parenting is a pressure cooker of moral authority, fear, and judgement... don't let this turn you into somebody you don't like</li><li>Mothers are tanks because society expects them to be tanks with a lot of hit points. Don't let that be an excuse to let the mother do all the heavy lifting</li><li>Things to master:</li><ul><li>Battery supplies</li><li>Bottles cleaning</li><li>Baby station upkeep to avoid situations where you must open packages while managing twisty baby</li><li>Baby bath and bedtime routines</li></ul><li>Nose Frida is the best way to get that snot out. Bulbs are inferior. Suck in short spurts... never prolonged suction.</li><li>If the mother will eventually be returning to work, then bank the second half of your paternity leave for when her maternity leave ends; so that you can do the heavy lifting during that transition. It helps her, emotionally, to know that you are the transition.</li><li>Accept that you will be less of the worker you used to be due to parental obligations. Make sure your career structure supports this notion.</li><li>After age 3: Template for behavioral correction is to inform them of the proper pattern instead of just saying no. Eventually, you can prompt for pattern recall with a gently delivered phrase: "Let's try that again."</li><li>Babies love soft ramps and gravity. Have these in your baby-safe caged area - also known as "place where grownups can lay down and parent with eyes closed". Add comforter to this area for maximum effect:<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrxRDmqXKmFc0NFSSOFIzkDde6JHLQ3m6DcyB_4EyaScmDSrIEhnVJt6lRDQYisKhDPKaf0Ads7jhbuUoE_4cpVefXoNeltE6IYHSJqHRMij_k2jzjWdDZAn5q9o47ECW9z6Sy/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1489" data-original-width="2048" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrxRDmqXKmFc0NFSSOFIzkDde6JHLQ3m6DcyB_4EyaScmDSrIEhnVJt6lRDQYisKhDPKaf0Ads7jhbuUoE_4cpVefXoNeltE6IYHSJqHRMij_k2jzjWdDZAn5q9o47ECW9z6Sy/" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /></li>
</ul>
</div></div>Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-4812400461842228312016-04-18T21:00:00.003-05:002016-11-30T09:17:18.124-06:00Detecting and moving duplicate files with C# Windows FormsIn 2011, I wrote a Perl script that moved mp3 files based on name matching:<br />
<a href="http://entropicflip.blogspot.com/2011/02/detecting-and-moving-duplicate-files.html">http://entropicflip.blogspot.com/2011/02/detecting-and-moving-duplicate-files.html</a><br />
<br />
Thanks to cloud services such as dropbox, my duplicate-pruning needs have become more complex.<br />
I now have photos and videos coming in from multiple sources that are mostly the same set, but not completely. These sources have different names for the files. On top of that, I don't really benefit from command line interfaces when it comes to routine maintenance of these files.<br />
<br />
And so I'm revisiting that problem in 2016 using C# and Windows Forms instead of Perl.<br />
<br />
Differences from my previous attempt:<br />
<ul>
<li>Works with any file</li>
<li>Uses binary comparisons instead of filename comparisons</li>
<li>Human-friendly UI</li>
<li>Progress-indicator</li>
<li>Optional filter to include or exclude files based on their extension</li>
<li>Ability to cancel an operation in progress</li>
<li>Preview mode + Log files, in case you just wanted to know the duplicates without moving them</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwQZRD9Z4YiqXk2_sfHK9t4J3JsiW9gNI8ycVyNVWal8lJzLi0iDpPbpiWQgho1vHJ4uVcnHcdK93ySPPa-eXmmzYwVie1UcmrRNMSG5Gnm9krbz5lRCGhWmXRxuzr10WJDR8E/s1600/Pruner.PNG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwQZRD9Z4YiqXk2_sfHK9t4J3JsiW9gNI8ycVyNVWal8lJzLi0iDpPbpiWQgho1vHJ4uVcnHcdK93ySPPa-eXmmzYwVie1UcmrRNMSG5Gnm9krbz5lRCGhWmXRxuzr10WJDR8E/s400/Pruner.PNG" width="400" /></a></div>
Source code is hosted here:<br />
<a href="http://entropicflip.github.io/FileDupePruner/">http://entropicflip.github.io/FileDupePruner/</a><br />
<br />
Windows users who trust me can download the exe here (choose 'View Raw'):<br />
<a href="https://github.com/EntropicFlip/FileDupePruner/blob/master/FileDupePruner/bin/Release/FileDupePruner.exe">https://github.com/EntropicFlip/FileDupePruner/blob/master/FileDupePruner/bin/Release/FileDupePruner.exe</a><br />
<br />Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-56923290970975970892016-04-16T00:24:00.006-05:002017-03-16T07:00:53.110-06:00Relationship Symmetry Part 2Part 1 was written in 2012 and exists here:<br />
<a href="http://entropicflip.blogspot.com/2012/09/relationship-symmetry.html">http://entropicflip.blogspot.com/2012/09/relationship-symmetry.html</a><br />
<br />
I eventually gave Twitter and Facebook another go. Unlike my previous life as a superconnector, I wanted to keep this new iteration of social networking small, intimate, and secret as a means of staying in touch with a trusted inner circle. Eventually, friends of friends added me and I had to add them back… because symmetry. And then industry people added me, and so I added them back… because symmetry. And then we released a game, and it felt important to engage and be a “brand”. I made my account public using my real name. Journalists and fans of the game added me, and I added them back… because symmetry.<br />
<br />
Being recognized as a human is meaningful. When you are in the same room with a person, there is an unwritten social contract to reciprocate any attention a person gives you as a courtesy for extending humanity to a person beyond what you might give to an inanimate object in the room. A mute feature allows that covenant to be broken without the penalty of letting the other person know that you’ve broken that agreement to pay attention to each other. It is a thing that people do when they want the benefit of a connected status without the attention burden. Attention is the primary difference between a friend and a rolodex entry. For me, symmetry is the gateway to humanity. Asymmetrical relationships are relationships that one would have with a business, a god, a subordinate, or an inanimate object. For many folks, posting on Twitter or Facebook is like leaving a prayer out there for an apathetic god that exists only in their own mind... because we are so very hungry for a relationship with the universe, and we want our thoughts to matter to "something".<br />
<br />
I’ve never been good at doing things halfway. My need for symmetry consumed parts of my day as I tried my best to not mute anyone and maintain a level of attention to my feeds that would honor those who deemed me worthy enough to follow. But the math just wasn’t sustainable. The urge to mute became strong with prolific announcers of repeating/mundane events, oblique references, or pictures with words over them. What’s even worse was that I became obsessed with likes, retweets, and followbacks as a means of validating my own sense of self worth. This is what it means to be a brand: You broadcast a persona to the world, and that makes a second you exist outside of your meatspace who desperately wants to stay alive. My Twitter and Facebook feeds were filled with brands hungry for validation participating in an inherently asymmetrical attention economy.<br />
<br />
In the end, I was still hungry. My need for connection was not being met. Like junk food, social media made it easy to engage in verbs associated with human connection, but the nutritional value of those verbs were not enough to sustain an actual meaningful relationship with other human beings. It was as if I was in a room filled with people wearing noise-canceling headphones while shouting into a megaphone. I took a look at myself in the mirror and noticed that I, too, had a megaphone for a mouth and noise-canceling headphones instead of ears. I was no longer human, yet I was desperately starving for humanity.<br />
<br />
I’ve never been good at doing things halfway. Keeping an account alive and not using it would mean that there is this dead version of me out there that people can treat like a live person who might be expected to pay attention or follow back or get outraged at the wrongs they see... and I do all of those things, but for some reason, none of that seems to matter in the world of single-serving internet friends. Everything is a single serving interaction that gets thrown away after it is done, and that false perception of connection threatens to serve as a mental replacement for the types of meaningful interactions that happen through direct email or phone calls. To resolve any ambiguity about the value of my friendships, I deleted my Facebook and Twitter accounts once again - For the last time.<br />
<br />
Instead of a room full of brands, I am choosing to be in a room where I can have a <b>mutual</b> conversation with another person <b>on purpose</b> with the intention of <b>building a relationship </b>as if we were making eye contact in the same room. These symmetrical interactions are the ones that matter in the longrun. I've made peace with the fact that most of the general public does not know who I am or cares; this is an honest reflection of an uncomfortable truth that I've tried so hard to look away from for a very long time. My world is now the smallest it has ever been, and my energies are much more focused on things that I have actual agency over.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-65103184865563836082014-08-10T14:13:00.001-05:002017-03-17T07:15:18.725-06:00Form vs. Structure<i>"In each of us there is another whom we do not know."
</i><br />
<i>- Carl Gustav Jung
</i><br />
<br />
Approaching 39, and only now am I beginning to understand the gravity of Structure over Form.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Form</span> is when you are the fastest runner on the field, the smartest student in the classroom, the strongest fighter in the ring, or the most attractive person at the party. Form is what you are at the time of observation. Your form is beautiful, ugly, wise, foolish, powerful,sympathetic, immoral, righteous, regretful, and indignant.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Structure</span> is the architecture that forms reside within. It is the city you live in, the friendships you maintain, the family you build, and the career you bet on.<br />
<br />
Your identity is a combination of form and structure. It is the story you tell yourself throughout the course of your life: a success story, victimization, sacrifice, triumph, anticipation mixed with uncertainty. In the beginning, you tend to modify only your form, but eventually, you hit the limitations of that form and take measures to modify boundaries of the structures around you.<br />
<br />
That conversion from form-focused to structure-focused is the conversion from user to architect, and it requires the ability to let go of a current form... as if you were letting your current self die in favor of living another person's life.<br />
<br />
This.<br />
Is.<br />
Difficult.<br />
<h3>
<br />Cognitive Dissonance is not your friend</h3>
Your mind believes that it knows who you are right now, and it will do its best to maintain that form's persistence by accusing other forms of being an imposter. The architect will need to embrace the concept of disposable forms as if they were inconsequential to the structure that survives those forms. In essence, the architect needs to adopt the form of an architect and not a user.<br />
<br />
You believe that you are who you are because your brain is hardwired to reinforce whatever patterns of reality you can perceive as knowledge. Knowledge is comfort, and we choose to be comfortable.<br />
<br />
A change in structure takes away the security that comes with knowledge.<br />
<br />
Consider for a moment that this form you are currently occupying is merely a temporary assignment of values to an address in memory space, and the programs you interface with every day are structures that existed long before your form entered and will exist long after your form exits.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">There is no "you".</span> That perceived manifestation of "you" is merely an output of systems within a feedback loop. Your form's internal nature is eclipsed by the influence of your structure's external nurture. After a certain age, that nurture becomes self perpetuating - your sense of self will stop coming from others and will start coming from the perceived narrative carved only by your actions.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Narrative Architecture</h3>
Structures, alone, have no soul. They have no value unless a form resides within that structure to provide meaning. Good stories tend to be about people, not places or the rules within those places, but the environment within which a story takes place will often drive the ending of a person's story.<br />
<br />
When things get really bad for your current form, then...<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Stop time</li>
<li>Exit your current form</li>
<li>Examine the structure that your form currently resides in</li>
</ol>
<br />
When you think about what you want to be or whether you are making the best choice, consider the story of a person in your situation who is not you, but has similar friends and a similar set of personal obligations. What parts of the setting need to change in order to make that protagonist happy?<br />
<br />
Who are the supporting characters of that protagonist's story? Companion? Boss? Collaborator? Their stories offer a structure for the protagonist to play a role in. Is the theme of that character's story one that your protagonist is willing to participate in? Examine their actions within the system, their handling of the boundaries at the edges of that system will affect the structure that your protagonist will have to work with.<br />
<br />
And most importantly, how does that protagonist's story end? What plot elements need to be in place in order to get to that ending?<br />
<br />
<h3>
Jumping Between Universes</h3>
The first jump is always the hardest. In addition to losing who you are at the time, you also lose that sense of trust in the stability of things, which was never truly there, to begin with. Our self-reinforcing identity is deeply constrained by the time and place in which we live as well as the people that we allow to fill our mindspace. By remaining fluid and detaching from the concept of any particular container, we become less vulnerable to cognitive dissonance and open up the prospect of being replaced by better versions of ourselves more suited to participating in happier narratives.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-47802118902869850932014-05-17T11:51:00.002-05:002022-04-06T13:53:25.877-05:00Game Developer Career Migrations<p>Every industry has an ecosystem with class designations, skill trees, and options to multi-class.</p>
<center>
<a href="http://ringofblades.net/Img/CareerMigration.png"><img src="http://ringofblades.net/Img/CareerMigration.png" width="80%" /></a>
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<p>Your current position is a spaceship capable of shooting lasers at other spaceships. The quantum theory of superposition states that you are able to combine your current firepower with other lasers from alternate selves in separate timelines in order to achieve penetrating resonance with the shields of unexplored spaceships.</p>Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-28366992559943495252014-04-08T13:48:00.002-05:002014-06-15T10:49:57.411-05:00Fatherhood and the Eulogy of Hyun Mo ShinIt took me a while to understand that I was not like most of the other kids in school, and it took even longer to understand why. My childhood had its tender moments, but was often marred by a constant sense of fear. The consequences for my mistakes as a child were brutal, severe, and worst of all... Emotional.<br />
<br />
My father was the main villain in my life. He is the antagonist in my first vivid childhood memory at the age of One when I woke up to my mother's screams. Escape, independence, and prediction became a driving force in my development as emerging abilities began to manifest. I had to get out of there, and I had to go very far and beyond the reproach of anybody who can possibly wield any power over me. Eventually, I succeeded. As a young adult, I had the freedom to choose my own family, and my friends became more important to me than blood relatives with whom I shared no empathy.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Status: Estranged.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In 2005, I got a call from a person claiming to be my father's son. He told me that my father had been in and out of the hospital for the last 6 months, and these might be his final days.</div>
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<div>
Over the course of the following two weeks, I talked to many people with regards to my father's personal effects and legal affairs, and through these conversations as well as a few rare and precious lucid moments with him in the hospice, I began to see him not as a monster, but as a human being... one who was flawed and scared, but always tried to do the right thing with what he knew how to do... one whom I had greatly wronged.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
As the only legal next of kin to my father in the United States, it fell to me to sign the DNR form (Do Not Resuscitate) that would allow him to finally rest instead of being revived after every heart attack. I got to know my father as a human being in the last two weeks of his life, and then I ended him.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This is the eulogy of Hyun Mo Shin that I composed and delivered at his funeral:</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>My father was born on July 10th, 1924 as the youngest of nine children within a family of rice farmers. He died peacefully in his sleep at 1pm on April 8th, 2005 at the age of 80 from a combination of prostate cancer and kidney failure. From what I know of him, he went to Gae-Oh University in Japan during the occupation of Korea where he learned to speak English. This allowed him to work with the United States CIA during the Korean War translating North Korean enemy transmissions to the American forces. During the Vietnam War, he ran a shop that supplied goods to American soldiers, and that is where he met my mother. When Vietnam fell in 1975, he arranged for her and their unborn child to travel by boat to Korea so that she and their son could live a better life away from oppression. From Korea, they moved to Australia for a short time but eventually settled in Iran where he ran a successful Chinese restaurant and lounge. When the Iranian Shaw was overthrown, he moved his family to Houston, Texas to start a new life over with a new Chinese restaurant. That business failed, and he was eventually forced to take a job as a maintenance man in an apartment complex. With the help of his soon to be lifelong friend, Bill Bokovoy, he moved up the ranks to eventually manage various apartments and convenience stores in the Houston area. He also managed a janitorial service. In 1996, he met Kim Soon and adopted her family as his own. Towards the end of his life, he worked as a tour guide for Japanese and Korean visitors to the United States. </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>People describe him as a very intelligent, kind man with a noble soul and a gift for making others laugh. He was able to speak English, Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, Vietnamese, Arabic languages, and of course, Korean. He was always teaching me the value of doing the right thing. He loved to travel and go fishing, and I remember him as a man who lived his life to the fullest… whether it be a trip to the Super Bowl in between dialysis treatments or an indulgent meal at his favorite Asian buffet. Some might have described him as an incorrigible but charming ladies’ man, but it wasn't just about the women for him. His love for life transferred to all aspects of his interaction with those around him. He dedicated his life to his family and his community in the name of love. He would welcome Korean immigrants to Houston and volunteer his time to do whatever he could to help them get settled into American society. His last wish to me and my newfound brother was to make sure that his family would be okay… to his dying day, he was thinking about the others in his life. </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>When somebody we know passes away, we can't help but think about our own mortality. All of you are here because my father’s life has affected you in one form or another. As I found out more about him, I began to see the waves and ripples he has created in the lives around him as he continued to live his own life, and it made me realize that we all create waves and ripples in the lives around us whether we choose to or not. After we’re gone, all that’s left are the waves. The world we live in and who we believe ourselves to be is a reflection of signals from the people around us. I feel that my father has lived a good life, and I see the proof in the people that are here in this room. Thank you for listening.
</i></blockquote>
<div>
The humanization of my father is my own origin story. It marked the beginning of a drive to understand more about the world than I was capable of comprehending at that time. The universe suddenly seemed very large, and my life suddenly seemed very small. I began to actively examine just how tenuous our belief systems, identities, and relationships truly are and how much control we have over the meaning we give ourselves within the course of an unpredictable lifetime that may or may not actually be meaningful to anyone else.<br />
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzE7sjssR1HuqRPN0aEtOY8MOFUQo4FOjdNJiC785dp2ykdVpGQsW4tV0J1FSq6-rpt5u9E0Chad2nB1I1n1raRIy_I32LVkoU4oad-SF0gM9v1jM1-RnxXarRB46Jv6x-3iff/s1600/FatherSonMom.jpg" /><br />
Today marks the ninth anniversary of my father's death. That story is still evolving.<br />
<br />
My first child is due at the end of August.<br />
He feels like a stranger at this moment.<br />
I hope the story between us ends well.</div>
Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-60505421130136213142013-12-06T08:04:00.002-06:002022-03-09T01:02:00.871-06:00Triangular Theory of The Ideal Colleague<img src="https://ringofblades.net/Img/TriangularTheoryOfColleague.jpg" width="555" />Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-84550759792924542792013-11-27T17:45:00.003-06:002016-11-30T09:24:18.287-06:00The "Warrior Gene"<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsKzCMAC6udN_vV_CEEtwV_hclUMTfqzeDI-F5gcpISnqztoxyWyeaVij2LJOWr4iZqIQf-XegXFfh7ib0U-iH1RSaUU2R314bax1Quwb-0tFuT9ANWbugAnCAbtCaSm8AVP5w/s1600/WarriorGene.jpg" width="550" /><br />
Genetic Ramifications:<br />
<ul>
<li>Rapid Processing of dynamic stimuli under stressful conditions</li>
<li>At the cost of Memory and Attention to details</li>
<li>Higher error rate</li>
<li>Ability enhancement triggered by Dopamine release</li>
<li>Higher resistance to pain</li>
<li>More easily Hypnotized</li>
<li>Less affected by Placebos</li>
<li>More likely to develop schizophrenia</li>
</ul>
<div>
Source: <a href="http://snpedia.com/index.php/Rs4680">http://snpedia.com/index.php/Rs4680</a></div>
<div>
"<b>rs4680</b> (Val158Met) is a well studied SNP in the <a href="http://snpedia.com/index.php/COMT">COMT</a> gene. <a href="http://blog.23andme.com/2009/07/31/dna-variation-may-help-us-break-free-from-our-routines/">23andMe blog</a> summarizes them as <br />
<ul>
<li>rs4680(A) = Worrier. Met, more exploratory, lower COMT enzymatic activity, therefore higher dopamine levels; lower pain threshold, enhanced vulnerability to stress, yet also more efficient at processing information under most conditions </li>
<li>rs4680(G) = Warrior. Val, less exploratory, higher COMT enzymatic activity, therefore lower dopamine levels; higher pain threshold, better stress resiliency, albeit with a modest reduction in executive cognition performance under most conditions </li>
</ul>
Roughly speaking, the predominant wisdom (known colloquially as the warrior/worrier hypothesis; summary at [<a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17008817?dopt=Abstract">PMID 17008817</a>]) posits that people with Val alleles have increased COMT activity and lower prefrontal extracellular dopamine compared with those with the Met substitution. Val158 alleles may be associated with an advantage in the processing of aversive stimuli (warrior strategy), while Met158 alleles may be associated with an advantage in memory and attention tasks (worrier strategy). Under conditions of increased dopamine release (eg, stress), individuals with Val158 alleles may have improved dopaminergic transmission and better performance, while individuals with Met158 alleles may have less efficient neurotransmission and worse performance. Some evidence suggests that Val158 alleles are associated with schizophrenia, while Met158 alleles are associated with anxiety."</div>
Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-13749435152004066152013-11-02T08:57:00.004-06:002022-03-09T01:02:31.806-06:00Triangular Theory of Triangular Theories<img src="https://ringofblades.net/Img/TriangularTheoryOfTriangularTheories.jpg" width="555" />
<br>
Yo dawg, I heard you like Triangular Theories...Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-16793321910895129502013-11-01T12:09:00.003-06:002022-03-09T01:02:49.207-06:00Triangular Theory of The Triforce<img src="https://ringofblades.net/Img/TriangularTheoryOfTriforce.jpg" width="555" />
Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-25949158743251322912013-11-01T12:08:00.002-06:002022-03-09T01:03:04.701-06:00Triangular Theory of Motivation<img src="https://ringofblades.net/Img/TriangularTheoryOfMotivation.jpg" width="555" />
<br>
Based on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc">Daniel Pink's research on Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose</a>Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-60088723741996881522013-11-01T12:06:00.001-06:002022-03-09T01:03:23.749-06:00Triangular Theory of Happiness<img src="https://ringofblades.net/Img/TriangularTheoryOfHappiness.jpg" width="555" />
Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-20841325628858107212013-11-01T12:05:00.003-06:002022-03-09T01:03:35.593-06:00Triangular Theory of Actualization<img src="https://ringofblades.net/Img/TriangularTheoryOfActualization.jpg" width="555" />
<br />
Eventually, a pattern emerges from all of the triangular theories... as if we needed a minimum of three points to define a perceivable concept in this two-dimensional world.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-71713598211915548052013-11-01T08:33:00.005-06:002022-03-09T01:03:44.881-06:00Triangular Theory of Sustainable Culture<img src="https://ringofblades.net/Img/TriangularTheoryOfSustainableCulture.jpg" width="555" />
Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-54785624743152495392013-10-18T09:50:00.000-05:002013-10-18T10:28:56.981-05:00Quantum Identification Theory"<i>If you want to understand the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration.</i>"<br />
<br />
<i>-Nikola Tesla</i><br />
___<br />
<br />
Our minds are wired to make sense of the world through discreet vocabulary. By placing a label on something, we make the identity of that something more tangible to our brains through a combination of adjectives, verbs, and nouns. To understand things, we need to know its identity so that we can figure out how we may interact with that entity in this reality that we believe in.<br />
<br />
Who am I?<br />
What am I?<br />
What do I do with these abilities?<br />
<br />
One can go about answering these questions in specifics, starting with factual nouns and adjectives, going from association to association in recursive fashion until we create a conglomerate definition that makes sense on the surface but falls short on depth as the composite definition is marked by restrictions and boundary limitations that never seem to be enough to describe an entire human being's state of being. We are always more than just a collection of nouns, verbs, and adjectives with the occasional adverb tacked on.<br />
<br />
When the frequency changes, we change. Our discrete parts reconfigure themselves to match the resonance of the environment around us.<br />
<br />
We are the collection of vocabulary words for that one relevant moment in time, but those words may become deprecated in the next timeslice. Definition of the self is not a series of discrete particles but a wave of potential definitions whose first derivative over time can be distilled into a function of discrete values within the coordinate space that our perceptions can observe.<br />
<br />
Our minds are wired to see things as discrete atomic particles at any one moment in time. Fields of potential register with our subconscious. We perceive these fields by forcing an awareness of discrete definitions on a regular basis until a pattern becomes apparent. For some, the wave awareness comes from successive postings on social media and the like. For others, the wave awareness evolves from mandatory three pages of words written every morning. These are all essentially snapshots of the wave at any one time. When awareness is repeated enough, we internalize the pattern on an instinctive level beyond words.<br />
<br />
This method of cognizance leads to lucid actualization. By intentionally engaging in awareness of wave potentials, one begins to alter discrete particle definitions as they manifest. The self-fulfilling prophecy alters reality through repeated snapshots as anticipation of the next snapshot becomes a nontrivial factor of the recursive equation.<br />
<br />
Anticipation eventually becomes prediction.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-89748925468741490742013-08-09T13:58:00.006-05:002022-03-09T01:15:15.760-06:00RoninI am trying to figure something out.<br />
<br />
Over my last thirteen years as a game developer, I switched jobs an average of every two years - Not always by choice. At first, it was because the studio I worked for got shut down or layoffs/downsizing/reduction-in-force happened after shipping the game; it felt like losing a family every time. I tried my best to stop it from happening, but it seemed that no matter how many 12 to 16 hour days I put in or how much the people I worked with really liked working with me, the result was the same... powers beyond my control and beyond the control of anyone I work with would force me to find a new tribe in a new studio and start all over again.<br />
<br />
Acceptance eventually set in: "bad weather", "the circle of life", "nature of the biz", "price you pay to do something you love"... These justifications started to wear thin after awhile. I was paying attention to my counterparts at other companies inside and outside the games industry, and that was when I started noticing the pattern. It manifested to a point where it eventually became possible to tell when bad things were going to happen again. Sometimes, the patterns were tied to specific people, but always, they were tied to specific behaviors.<br />
<br />
In the more recent years of my career, I chose not to wait for the people who employ me to lay me off. I got good at laying myself off before my former employer could start their own (surprise) round of layoffs. I figured that I could preemptively reduce the headcount and extend the company runway before other people got reduced who weren't as flexible as me.<br />
<br />
At this point in my life, I now understand that when you work for a company, the decisions that control your fate will not be your decisions, and they may be made by people who do not understand what you do and don't have the time to find out.<br />
<br />
I want to make products that I believe in with a tribe that I can get stronger with over multiple projects over multiple years, but none of that is going to happen if I start over every two years. The only way to make this happen is to work for a very stable company and trust that I can grow within the established ecosystem there with its installed residents.... or make that company, myself.<br />
<br />
Today is my first day as an independent game developer. This is an experiment to see if I can succeed by just working hard, being good at my job, and managing who I collaborate with... all while believing in something. At any one time, the things I do need to come from a personal place. The best communications I have ever had with people were the emotional ones. The best code I have ever written was an emotionally driven analogy for some concept in the real world. The best things I have ever done in life were done with the full intention of somehow fixing myself... or those like me. This is a truth that I am at peace with.<br />
<br />
In order to succeed, I need to make this personal and tap into that emotional reserve, but I also need a structure to give the company's output meaningful context in order to achieve cultural resonance. This internal compass has evolved into three sharply defined tenets that relate to the concept of Identity, Agency, and Communion. These three points of a triangle are... The Ring of Blades!<br />
<p>
<img src="https://ringofblades.net/Img/Logo.jpg" width="500" />
</p>
The <a href="http://ringofblades.com/">Ring of Blades</a> is in service to player experiences that...<br />
Express Identity with Passion,<br />
Actualize Agency with Skill,<br />
and Establish Communion through Introspection<br />
Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-85800834412550534532012-11-16T17:46:00.000-06:002013-08-03T07:27:50.200-05:00Asymmetrical Empathy"I can do it, why can't you?", says the villain to the prey.<br />
<br />
___<br />
<br />
Our brains require a definition to perceive the presence of something... or the absence of it.<br />
Without a definition, that “something” becomes irrelevant to the brain.<br />
<br />
An intrinsic value is one that can’t be judged by just looking at a person. It is the type of quality that a person applies internally as part of his or her self image through actions and results. The process of interpreting actions and results into an intrinsic value differs from person to person because they each carry a unique lens. People willfully choose the intrinsic qualities that build their sense of self as a normal function of ego.<br />
<br />
Our bag of definitions for the perception of an intrinsic value comes mainly from those chosen to define the self. We tend to use ourselves as a template when judging the presence or absence of a certain human quality in another. We judge potential friends, family members, and colleagues through this lens of symmetry. A dedicated athlete may judge a career-oriented person based on health-related habits. An English major may judge a CEO based on spelling and punctuation, and an engine programmer may judge a gameplay programmer based on their understanding of SPU assembly.<br />
<br />
We do this instinctively without effort because our minds are hard-wired to understand symmetry. It is much easier for us to judge whether something is present or absent in another by checking for a one-to-one match with things present in the self. Symmetrical evaluation results in the following trend:<br />
<ol>
<li>COMFORT: Worthy intrinsic value present in both</li>
<li>JUDGEMENT: Worthy intrinsic value present in the self, but missing in the other</li>
<li>NEUTRAL: Worthy intrinsic value missing in the self, but present in the other</li>
<li>NEUTRAL: Worthy intrinsic value missing in both</li>
</ol>
As far as this trend goes, #3 indicates potential wasted data. We typically require five positive interactions for every negative interaction. Neutral interactions are ambiguous. For most people, the evaluation of this 5-to-1 ratio operates with a blind spot that can result in up to 50% data loss.<br />
<br />
Symmetry is not enough. There are properties in others that are invisible to the self. Inversely, there are properties in the self that are invisible to others. Compassion for others who are not like the self requires...<br />
<ul>
<li>SELF AWARENESS: Embracing the parts of you that can’t be compared to others</li>
<li>TRUST: Believing that intrinsic qualities you have not become aware of do exist, and that others might have this quality that you currently do not have the means to perceive</li>
<li>IMAGINATION: In order to defeat your villain, you must think like your villain. You must match your brainwave patterns to those of your villain's brain. Only then will you be able to find the bomb and save the city, but beware... you might fall in love with your villain or become a new villain in the process</li>
</ul>
We define ourselves and others through silhouettes; the challenge is to build definitions without using the self as a boundary.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-29208827814397543972012-10-25T04:37:00.002-05:002014-04-16T12:27:43.493-05:00Cognitive DissonanceThe cold truth is that nothing has meaning. It all ends the same way, eventually. But people need to believe that there is meaning
in something other than sheer survival. Meaning comes from what we're willing to
believe. If the meaning is not found in sports, children, politics, television,
music, religion, art, or the latest fashion trend, then the void gets filled
with more eccentric endeavors such as drugs, hatred, Bollywood, or the local
chapter of some society, somewhere.<br />
<br />
To have a policy about things, a
philosophy on your actions, is to give meaning to yourself as if you really
mattered in this world. By existing with a personal compass, we seek to change
the world and make it smell like us in order to affirm our existence.<br />
<br />
We
define ourselves through the suffering that we choose to own, whether it be our jobs, our sweat,
smoking, the chase, the escape, or the fight... we all fight. It gives us
meaning to fight. If we don't fight or choose not to fight, then we eventually
end up fighting ourselves. We create a policy for the fight as a rationale to
justify the things we do or don't do. In this way, reality evolves in our own
image.<br />
<br />
And this is where I'm currently struggling. Reality is shifting faster than I can keep up with. I was once the boy in love with love who loved nothing more than the fight. I do not feel like that boy anymore. I no longer have that religion... that old testament flair. The fierce dogmas I had subscribed to have dissipated and the fight now feels... optional. There is a fear growing inside me that my prioritization of peace has put me in a mental space of accepting mediocrity. But average is safe. Normal is dependable. Not sticking out like a sore thumb means nobody is looking at me, anymore.<br />
<br />
My identity has not found a new silhouette since my recent bout with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance">Cognitive Dissonance</a>, but it is shifting into something I do not yet understand. I don't know who I am when I am not that guy trying to change the world through blades of agency. Hopefully, equilibrium will set in so that the shifting can stop and the discrete Heisenbergian packets of my persona might once again resonate into an identifiable frequency and wavelength.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-55420911805188871872012-09-07T13:16:00.001-05:002013-04-07T19:39:36.907-05:00Relationship SymmetryRelationship Symmetry:<br />
<ol>
<li>When you know each other's names</li>
<li>When communications are equal in both directions.</li>
<li>When messages are customized for the recipient's personality and situation</li>
</ol>
There was a time when I was Mr. Social Networking. I can only imagine that my Klout score must have been... "winning". I even went so far as to write <b><a href="http://entropicflip.blogspot.com/2010/02/on-subject-of-twitterfacebook-disdain.html">this</a></b> in response to all of the entitled ineffectual complaints I would hear from people who had contempt for the Twitter and Facebook culture.<br />
<br />
My years of living on the social networks and maintaining virtual friendships have taken a toll on my ability to know the difference between a friend and a mutual rolodex entry. The result is the disturbing normalcy of asymmetrical interactions.<br />
<br />
I have only recently become disturbed by the normalcy of this asymmetry.<br />
<br />
One day, I woke up and realized that I am no longer "that guy who knows everybody".<br />
I am no longer associated with a company or organization that warrants networking, nor can I help anybody get a job or speaking opportunity or move an audience in their direction. After my voluntary exit from my last fairly high profile employer, I have nothing to offer those in my networks other than a simple friendship.<br />
<br />
Currently, I am at the bottom of my social networking value, and it is here that I am beginning to see the difference between being a connector node and being a person you are willing to carpool to the grocery store with.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect">The Bystander Effect</a> is my enemy.<br />
<br />
My new paradigm is a belief that...<br />
Zero Communication is better than Weak (Broadcasted) Communication.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Focused (One-on-One) Communication is best of all.</div>
</div>
<ul>
<li>No more talking or emailing people in "group mode" as opposed to "eye contact mode"</li>
<li>No more living my life as if the cameras are rolling on the social networks</li>
<li>Intentional focus on introspective verbs rather than outward-facing expressions of opinion and affiliation</li>
</ul>
<div>
I have spent a lot of energy outsourcing my identity to others. What others thought of me started out as a comfort that eventually became a debilitating expectation to keep me going. It is time for me to re-calibrate who I think I am when nobody is watching. And from there, I can repair not just my own self-image, but also my ability to regenerate and maintain the friendships I have neglected due to "automated maintenance through a virtual facade".</div>
<div>
<br />
No more Bystander Effect.</div>
<div>
This is where the REAL begins.</div>
Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-28730001646604984572012-06-18T23:15:00.001-05:002013-04-05T08:38:58.726-06:00The Seven MindKillersFrom an early age, most of us are conditioned to take great pleasure in the fulfillment of <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Trust</b></span>.<br />
Over time, that trust gets blocked by <span style="font-size: large;"><i>Fear</i></span>.<br />
<br />
It is said that your mind has seven points (Chakras) that can be attacked by fear for maximum damage:<br />
<ol>
<li>The first point deals with <b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Survival</span></b>. When you no longer trust the security of your own survival, you will be consumed with <span style="font-size: large;"><i>Anxiety</i></span> about the things that can go wrong. <u>Trust</u> in the things that you can change. <u>Accept</u> what you can't change. <u>Know the difference</u> between the two.
</li>
<li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Pleasure</span></b> is blocked by <span style="font-size: large;"><i>Guilt</i></span>. Distrust of pleasure comes from fear of judgement. Know the actual consequence of that judgement to disarm it and <u>be at peace with the choices you make</u>.
</li>
<li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Willpower</span></b> is blocked by <span style="font-size: large;"><i>Shame</i></span>. Shame is judgement on the self. Fear of failure looks like cynicism and self-deprecation from the outside. Shame results in mental paralysis. Accept your past failures; they've made you stronger. <u>Know that each success must be preceeded by multiple failures as a normal part of the process</u>.
</li>
<li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Love</span></b> is blocked by <span style="font-size: large;"><i>Grief</i></span>. The loss of love is inevitable. To allow this fear to consume you is to remain alone. The love that you feel in the present will always be worth more than the grief that you may feel in the future. You always have a choice to love at any one time. <u>The present matters more than the past or future, for it is the only thing that you have direct control over right here and now</u>.
</li>
<li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Expression</span></b> is blocked by <span style="font-size: large;"><i>Lies</i></span>. Your true self will not manifest as long as you fear your own identity. <u>Accept that you are you, and do not be afraid to let others know you as you know yourself</u>. The maintenance of Honesty consumes zero energy.
</li>
<li><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Insight</span></b> is blocked by <span style="font-size: large;"><i>Illusions</i></span>. By giving fear a tangible form, we can disarm its power over our senses and see it for what it really is: <u>A problem that is solveable</u>.
</li>
<li>The final point deals with <b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Expansion</span></b>; it is blocked by <span style="font-size: large;"><i>Attachment</i></span>. Suffering can be perceived as meaning, but you are not your suffering. Your identity is malleable as you see fit. For every new form you adopt, an old form must be discarded. <u>Embrace your past, but do not cling to it</u>. It has served its purpose. No regrets.</li>
</ol>
<div>
Now... The badass version of your future self is calling you.</div>
<div>
<u>TRUST that person</u>.</div>
Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-75239878503492058552012-03-24T09:07:00.001-06:002014-10-22T11:15:00.364-05:00Catharsis: Less is MoreSometimes, when things are bad, I talk too much.<br />
Because I want people to know what I am thinking.<br />
Because they MUST know what I am thinking.<br />
Because I got hurt,
or I'm afraid.<br />
And I need to blame, or share, or validate, or search for hope in some fashion.<br />
... as if the gods were listening.<br />
<br />
"Where are your Gods, now?", said the stranger to the kid in the ruined bastion.<br />
<br />
"They are busy... doing important things in other places. But they'll hear me eventually, and then things will get better."<br />
<br />
"The gods are listening.<br />
They have heard you, but they can't do anything, kid.<br />
... because their "hands are tied", either by another god or a fear of conflict.<br />
... or because they don't have the time to deal with your problems.<br />
... or because everything sounds like wizards fighting, and they don't want to make the wrong choice.<br />
<br />
You can't fix this because authority is the missing element, and you have none of that.<br />
And so the suffering will continue, the gods and you and me all agree that the situation is bad."<br />
<br />
The kid thought long and hard about the stranger's words. He had been doing a lot of talking, lately.<br />
<br />
Words work when the gods have the attention, understanding, and empowerment to change things... but in godless country, words are just an indulgent reminder of how truly powerless we are over things that are unwilling or unable to change for the better.<br />
<br />
There comes a point where people just get tired of hearing about your open wound.<br />
<br />
And so, the talking ended.<br />
The silent protagonist knew what had to be done.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-5281557817969302572011-09-17T09:32:00.000-05:002012-01-08T11:14:29.832-06:00Love and Happiness Through The Looking GlassThis journal entry is for anyone on the outside looking in.<br />
I have recently become on the inside looking out.<br />
<br />
<b><u>The Choice</u></b><br />
Something I did not truly internalize until recently in life:<br />
Love and Happiness are CHOICES.<br />
They are internal choices and not external situations.<br />
<br />
The absolute definitions for Love and Happiness are defined by the self.<br />
Nobody but you can tell you that your definition is wrong.<br />
<br />
You can not control the weather, but you CAN control you.<br />
You CAN control what you DO and how you FEEL when it rains.<br />
And you can CHOOSE to be happy during the worst of thunderstorms.<br />
<br />
Like Happiness, Love is a choice.<br />
It is NOT a stroke of luck or a spell that is cast upon you by another.<br />
When you are in love with somebody, it is because YOU are CHOOSING to Love.<br />
<br />
That Love will serve you well as long as your accomplice is also a willing participant who CHOOSES to love you back. If there is such a thing as a soul-mate, then your true soul-mate will love you back.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Equilibrium Between The External and Internal</u></b><br />
There are limits to how much our interactions can achieve and how much we can alter own way of thinking.<br />
<br />
We have standards for Love and Happiness.<br />
We can’t just love anything that comes our way or be happy about any situation that arises.<br />
But the fact is that Love and Happiness are powerful universal NEEDS,<br />
and life becomes easier when we prioritize those needs over our limitations.<br />
<blockquote>
"The happiest people are either very lucky or very flexible in their criteria for happiness."<br />
-Matthew Y. Wong, Ph.D.</blockquote>
So our challenge in life is to find that equilibrium between how much we can change the world around us and how much we can change ourselves.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Unconditional Love and Happiness</u></b><br />
Marriage is a promise to love, unconditionally.<br />
<br />
The breakthrough that occurs in the transition from “Dating” to “Marriage” is the commitment to make the Relationship more important than the self as if it were... a third self.<br />
<br />
There might be such a thing as a promise to be happy, unconditionally.<br />
Perhaps this is the original promise that one can make to their first self.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-12172044798707718862011-05-22T10:16:00.017-05:002012-03-23T23:36:02.111-06:00Redefining "Religion"<u><b>The Awareness Problem</b></u><br />
They say that in any organization/tribe/civilization, approximately 95% of the decision-making power is held by 5% of the people. Empirical evidence suggests that <i><b>relationships are a stronger factor in decision-making than actual correctness</b></i>.<br />
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This happens partially because we are genetically hard-wired to seek approval as a form of motivation. That, combined with the fact that one person can not effectively process more than a person's worth of information causes our minds to think in terms of specialization. We delegate the processing of "surplus" information to others in order to preserve precious attention bandwidth.<br />
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<u><b>Delegating Awareness</b></u><br />
This cycle of converting information into decisions is the dominant pattern of how humans deal with the unknown. We leverage trust as the commodity that allows us to trade certainty for peace of mind.<br />
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"I do not know the answer, but I know somebody that does..."</blockquote>
We are genetically hard-wired to trust. This is not going to change anytime, soon. From the moment we are born, we want to trust and derive pleasure from being able to trust.<br />
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<u><b>Giving Form to the Unknown</b></u><br />
Religion is our personal relationship with the unknown.<br />
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"I do not know the answer, but I know that there is an answer..."</blockquote>
It may manifest as an anthropomorphized deity representing "the trusted one", or it may simply manifest as avid Atheism and dedication to science. Whatever form it takes, religion is essentially our personal compass that gives us a working mental model that we trust for making optimal decisions with the subset of information available to us.<br />
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<u><b>Faith in Truth Outside the Self</b></u><br />
We can not fight the fact that relationships are a more sustainable mechanism for decision-making than correctness. The human brain is optimized for operations within a social structure. Being correct consumes more mental energy than maintaining relationships. Relationships offer a promise of stability in a world where truths can either be unstable, lost in translation, or ineffectual; one's relationship to truth is more stable than actual truths due to the degree of control we are afforded over that relationship. In other words, it is much easier for our human brains to manage a relationship with truth than it is for brains to manage the overwhelming volume of unprocessed raw facts.<br />
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Religion is our relationship with everything outside of the self.<br />
We want to trust our mental model of how things work, and some of us may even go so far as to engage in "faith"... trading certainty for peace of mind so that every possible question that could ever exist has a sense of closure that is intrinsic to the mental model we choose. Instead of truth, we appoint a method that represents that truth.<br />
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<u><b>The Code We Live By</b></u><br />
Religion is the algorithm by which we program our brains to deal with uncertainty. When established recipes for verbs become insufficient, we synthesize new plans by running available data through established algorithms... written either by the self or by another.<br />
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The personal Code we live by exists because we have an identity that requires an interface between the self and the non-self.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13273263.post-33902239988166008182011-05-10T00:41:00.010-05:002022-03-09T01:03:59.216-06:00Triangular Theory of Friendship<img src="https://ringofblades.net/Img/TriangularTheoryOfFriendship.jpg" width="555" />
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Inspired by the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love">Triangular Theory of Love</a>
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Friendships often begin as kinship. But then... marriages can happen, cities might change, babies might get born, and lives become different in ways that alter the common grounds that hold many friendships together.<br />
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Availability may not come naturally when the commonality is lost. Sometimes, you choose to make the time for a friend that otherwise has no place in your life.<br />
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Vulnerability can be the hardest thing to expose. The choice to be a friend and the choice to stay a friend begins and ends with this.Kain Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12506866834635001231noreply@blogger.com